Finding Inner Peace

Financial stress coupled with physical discomfort has wreaked havoc on my poor body and on my inner self.
I often find myself up until the wee hours of the night, exhausted but awake while stress is coarsing through my body and as plans and hopes and worries rush through my mind.
Tonight I decided to lay down and to intentionally relax with breathwork and guided imagery. I had purchased a guided imagery CD somewhere along the road during these travels, maybe in Toronto and maybe before that, and yesterday I finally transfered the CD onto my mother's computer and then onto my ipod.
I tried to go through the CD last night, but I wasn't as present as I was this evening.
The process begins with the breath and then with the intention of releasing tension from  my body, starting with my feet and working my way up until I reach my face and my head.  This requires an awareness of each part of my body, and then a sense of softening and of letting go.  After I have sunk into relaxation in this way, I am taken  on a journey within my mind using my imagination to carry me to a special sanctuary, a safe haven.
My safe haven always appears to be the same place, a beautiful meadow of green, extraordinarily soft, even fluffy grass that is surrounded by beautiful evergreen trees and colorful flowers and welcoming plants. The meadow has an oval or round shape, and I am there barefoot and in summer clothing. The sky is blue, the bright, golden sun is shining directly upon me, and the air is warm and comforting.  Butterflies and sometimes dragonflies flutter past me and sometimes even land on me gently for a few moments before they opt to continue their journeys.  I can hear bird chirping in the background, and I am aware that there are animals all around me.  They would never hurt me.  In this place, I am totally safe.  I am absolutely taken care of. I feel a sense of peace, joy, wonder, excitement, and love here. Love is all around me.
If  I become thirsty, suddenly there is a water bottle at my feet.  I haven't become hungry there yet, but I'm certain that my favorite berries would appear instantly at the first craving.
When I think about the safe haven I have created, I honestly become a little embarrassed.
It's like some kind of Disney movie set, but I don't care.
This is my special place, and I know that I'm safe there.  This is a place without worry or danger.
If I feel like rolling around in the grass, I do it.
If I suddenly feel like twirling and dancing and leaping with glee, I do it. There are no boundaries and there is no shame here.  I am happy and healthy and able to leap and dance barefoot without even the slightest hint of concern.  I can play here. I can experience complete joy here. Even the air around me feels like a giant hug.
The next part of the journey takes me to my brain and to the pituitary gland just below my brain which creates the natural opiates that my body can use to calm down.  I visualize a droplet forming, like a glistening dewdrop of water, right beneath the base of my brain. Once the drop of endorphins is full enough, it is released directly into my bloodstream which then carries these natural particles of well-being throughout my entire body.  I am flooded with good feelings, and the opiates gently wash away any pain that my body is holding or experiencing. I then breathe into any areas that still have tension or discomfort. As I breathe in, the areas expand and their colors and their shapes intensify. As I breathe out, the regions shrink back and their shapes soften and whatever color they hold get discharged and cleared. I repeat each deep breath with visualization of expansion and then contraction and release four times.
I clearly need to do this type of intentional relaxation daily in order to allow my body's natural healing process to work properly.
I'm pumping myself full of corticosteroids each day without fail. While I do exercise and stretch and take salt and herbal baths regularly, I don't think I'm doing enough to calm my nerves down.
I acknowledge that my body had already been feeling a lot better before I arrived in Toronto, and then suddenly everything started to feel much worse. My foot started aching again, and then the area around my right hip which was injured during the bicycle accident started to flare up.
This could all be stress induced, and I know that my body has been programmed to heal itself given the right environment.
Let's see if I can utilize more of my time to actively release the tension in my body and to run good feelings through her, and then hopefully I will maintain the presence to witness how my body is responding and changing because of my work.
I'm going to allow my body to get some rest now.
Peace.